As I prepare for my destination wedding in Cape Town, I can’t help but reflect on my Liberian traditional wedding, a cherished celebration steeped in culture and community. In Liberian culture, traditional weddings are not just ceremonies but a rich celebration of heritage, community, and respect. My own experience was deeply rooted in the customs of the Kpelle tribe, from the dowry process to the joyous rituals that made this day unforgettable. Let me walk you through the process.
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The Introduction: A Formal Family Gathering
The traditional wedding process began with what we call the “Introduction.” In this step, the groom’s family visited my family to formally express their interest. They made an announcement, almost like a humble request, sharing with my family that they “saw someone in your house that we would love to marry.” Respecting cultural customs, my uncles were the ones who conversed with the groom’s family, even though my father was present. After this initial introduction, my uncles relayed the information to my father, and the family discussed the next steps together.
Setting the Date and the Dowry
After the introduction, my family set a date for the groom’s family to return, bringing with them a list of requested gifts and the dowry payment. Traditionally, the dowry in Liberia is set at $48, a historical decision made by the nation’s leaders. Years ago, the dowry was much higher, which led to financial strain on the groom’s family and, in turn, sometimes a lack of respect for the bride in her new household. To prevent this, Liberia’s elders instituted a modest dowry, ensuring that family harmony and respect remain central to marriage.
While the baseline dowry is $48, my dowry was higher, at $248, as my family chose to recognize my education, career, the fact the we have a child and my experiences. It was an honor to see how much they valued my accomplishments, and it added a meaningful layer to this part of the ceremony.
Gifts for the Family, Not the Bride
On the day of the ceremony the groom’s family bring a variety of gifts, though none were intended for me directly. This gift-giving tradition is meant to show respect and appreciation for my family, with presents for my parents, siblings, grandparents, uncles, and aunts. These gifts often include clothing, accessories, and travel items, symbolizing goodwill and a connection between both families.
One unique custom is that the dowry payment and gifts must be delivered before sunset, specifically before 5 PM. This symbolic rule signifies that the marriage should begin in the light of day, a blessing for the union to be as bright and lasting as the sun.
The Selection Process: Identifying the Bride
One of the most entertaining moments in a traditional wedding is the “Selection” AKA bride imposter ceremony. To create suspense and add an element of fun, my family presented multiple maidens, each fully covered, as potential brides. This part of the ceremony is meant to test the groom’s devotion and ability to recognize his bride through her spirit alone. Each incorrect selection required the groom’s family to pay a small fee, adding humor and challenge to the event.
In my case, we presented ten maidens, each time heightening the excitement until, at last, my groom found me and we stood together, marking our first moments as a married couple in front of our families and friends.
The Ceremony: Sitting on the Mat and the Kola Nut Ritual
With the selection complete, the ceremony continued with a moment known as the “mat seating.” As tradition dictates, I sat on a mat surrounded by my group of maidens the 10 women from the bride imposter process, symbolizing unity and support. My maidens were not only there as witnesses but also as protectors and friends guiding me into this new chapter.
One of the most sacred and fun parts of the ceremony was the untying of the kola nut, to show that we are husband and wife. In this ritual, performed by me, the kola nut is tied in a cloth with a lot of thread which I need to untie thread by thread and as I’m untying the Kola the groom and his family will be showering me with money each time I untie a little bit, I’ll stop and jokingly say that I’m tired and they will give me more money to encourage me to untie it, it’s a fun situation, symbolizing two lives coming together.
The Water Blessing: A Father’s Blessing for the Couple
Another cherished tradition is the water blessing. In this ritual, my father, an anchor in my life, blessed a glass of water that i brought to him, praying for peace, prosperity, and understanding for us as a married couple. Once he completed his blessing, I offered this water to my groom, symbolizing my desire to nurture, cherish, and care for him. The water’s purity and calmness signify our hopes for a peaceful, enduring marriage, and it’s a gesture that acknowledges my father’s trust in the union. Once my husband drinks the water, he places the $248 dowery in the glass, which is then handed over to my family.
The Final Twist: Wearing My Husband’s Traditional Attire
In a unique twist, the final step in my traditional wedding involved me and my husband changing from my Kpelle tribe traditional attire and dressing in my husband’s traditional Mandingo attire. We did this to represent both of our tribes culture in the ceremony. This custom signifies the unity between us and my transition into his family. Wearing his Mandingo tribe attire was symbolic, a visual, reminder of the respect and loyalty that define our marriage. For my family, this gesture confirmed that I am now not only their daughter but also an integral part of my husband’s family.
A Day to Remember, Rooted in Heritage
My Liberian traditional wedding was a blend of respect, community, and cultural heritage. Every part, from the dowry negotiations to the mat seating, kola nut untying, water blessing, and wearing my husband’s attire, reminded me of the strength and beauty of my Kpelle roots. It was more than just a ceremony; it was a celebration of family and tradition, a day filled with love and unity that I will cherish forever.
I will soon be sharing a video of my traditional wedding on my YouTube channel, like, follow, and subscribe to my channel @Her Millennial Closet to stay in the loop! In the meantime, check out the wedding highlight video!
I hope you enjoyed reading this blog as much as I enjoyed writing it for you, till next time
